Unapologetically Unfiltered

The danger of idolizing people who say whatever they think (or who cultivate this persona).

Scrolling on Instagram 😳 I see a Reel of a young celebrity trash talking people and proudly claiming to be ageist.

The comments:

“What an icon!”

“She’s therapeutic for me.”

“I literally can’t get enough.”

And I get it. In an age when we feel like we have to self-censor or people will come at us in the comments (which ironically did not happen much here), people who go against the grain feel refreshing.

“I love that she doesn’t give an eff!”

“Please don’t ever give her media training!”

Or was this her media training? To grin and get a rise out of people? To lean into what the crowd seems to want and see how far she can take them? That’s certainly been an effective playbook in politics in recent years.

Is she mindfully crafting an unapologetic persona? Or not putting much thought into what she says?

Either way, there’s a difference between courage and impulse, between candor and carelessness, and between shock and meaningful effort.

Mindless versus mindful communication

That clip made me think of a much broader issue: Our culture is hungry for honest voices, but we’re not very discerning about the quality of the words – we’re here for the circus.

We like when bold people speak their minds (as long as they never say anything bad about us). We live vicariously through their confidence and “I said what I said” energy. Their willingness to say what we won’t.

I love people who challenge the status quo, who speak up when it’s hard, who say the things no one else will – but with intention. With heart. With the courage to think before they speak.

All this has me thinking more about who and where I give my attention to in this brief life.

Who do I want to consider an icon? Whose words do I want to pay attention to and discuss? Whose message is worth sharing?

Your voice is your values

This week, Senator Bernie Sanders introduced two resolutions to stop U.S. weapons sales to Israel, arguing on the Senate floor and in the media that the U.S. has a moral duty to help end the starvation crisis in Gaza.

Seeing him, I’m reminded that there are people who speak boldly, not to provoke, but because it matters. They say the unpopular thing not for shock value, but because it’s needed.

Bernie has a filter, but he’s not performing. He uses his words with care to speak truth and offer direction.

Speaking without a filter is like emotional eating or retail therapy – an impulsive act with fleeting satisfaction and long-term consequences. When we reward this behavior with clicks and votes, we normalize it. We confuse it for honesty. For leadership. For strength.

Strength isn’t blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

Strength is choosing your words, and thinking about the world beyond yourself.

That doesn’t mean we have to be formal or scripted or quiet. It means thinking before speaking, not out of fear but out of integrity.

Mindful communication isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being considerate.

It’s about caring enough to slow down and ask: What am I really trying to say? What’s the impact my words might have?

It’s about the kind of energy you want to bring to this world.

We can be thoughtful and still have fun!

And this isn’t a call to be serious all the time. Life needs lightness. Jokes. Play. Some things are silly and should stay silly. I’m not saying we have to choose between pop culture or geopolitics – as if we’re either on Team Fluff or Team Justice.

What I’m saying, for me, is that I want to be more mindful about where I put my attention. Who I treat as an authority. How I speak to others. There’s room for joy and irreverence and intention. Our words don’t have to be heavy to matter. But they do matter.

Say what you mean. But also, mean what you say.

Because how you speak – and who you listen to – shapes who you become.

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I help people like you communicate with more clarity and care, so your relationships feel closer, lighter, and more connected. If you’re looking to increase your confidence while still being kind, visit sarahmikutel.com