Thank you for sharing this another great piece... For me the issue is not anxiety or confidence but ethical judgement. Cues from the reactions of others shape our idea of worth. This is an ethical mistake because it relocates value outside the person. When someone holds themselves to a standard that does not belong they create a conflict between what is required and what they imagine is needed. Ethical action depends on recognising the correct standard for this moment and directing one’s choices towards it. A Stoic would say that the ethical task is to see what one can choose and what one cannot. Skill develops over time, and reason interprets the early attachments that come from our natural constitution. The pressure of unrealistic expectations comes from giving external things a value they do not possess.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, Edgar. I agree – when we base our self-worth on how others react to us (or how we imagine they will), we risk living a life shaped by external validation rather than internal values.
Thank you for sharing this another great piece... For me the issue is not anxiety or confidence but ethical judgement. Cues from the reactions of others shape our idea of worth. This is an ethical mistake because it relocates value outside the person. When someone holds themselves to a standard that does not belong they create a conflict between what is required and what they imagine is needed. Ethical action depends on recognising the correct standard for this moment and directing one’s choices towards it. A Stoic would say that the ethical task is to see what one can choose and what one cannot. Skill develops over time, and reason interprets the early attachments that come from our natural constitution. The pressure of unrealistic expectations comes from giving external things a value they do not possess.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, Edgar. I agree – when we base our self-worth on how others react to us (or how we imagine they will), we risk living a life shaped by external validation rather than internal values.